hankyoreh

By Kim Hyo-jin, staff reporter

Lesbian couple Park Hye-jeong, 34, and Jang Hae-ni, 31, who tied the knot four years ago, recently decided to immigrate to Denmark. Two years ago, the two began looking for ways to make their dream of having a happy house full of children a reality. In Denmark, Park and Jang’s marriage would be recognized, and they could make use of a sperm bank and artificial insemination to get pregnant.

In South Korea, even getting pregnant was a problem. Since the two were not a legal couple, hospitals did not allow them access to a sperm bank, let alone artificial insemination.

Getting sperm from their friends was as hard as finding a spouse, the couple said. There was no man willing to make the sacrifice of abstaining from alcohol and cigarettes for a year and taking care of his health, even getting tested for STDs, in order to provide the women his sperm. Another problem was that, if the sperm donor changed his mind after birth and claimed custody of the child, the couple had no legal grounds for claiming custody.

Park and Jang even considered the option of co-parenting with the sperm donor. This idea had its advantages, since it would guarantee interaction with the child’s biological father as well. But in a country that does not even recognize same-sex couples, the idea of co-parenting was unthinkable. Even if they were recognized as co-parents, the social discrimination that they would face was an even bigger obstacle.

“If we were to raise a child in Korea, our child would have to lie about his family situation or explain all of it to his teachers and classmates. During that process, we as parents would have to pay careful attention to make sure our child didn’t get hurt. Both parents and children would face discrimination as they would have to explain their situation over and over,” Park said.

They couldn’t wait forever, either. “There is an age at which a woman can get pregnant, you know. Our eggs are not going to sit around until the Korean system improves,” Park observed, referring to the enactment of the Anti-Discrimination Act and recognition of the rights of sexual minorities to form families.

The couple is planning to leave South Korea for Denmark at the end of this month. The reason that the two of them chose Denmark from among the various countries in which same-sex marriage is recognized is because it is the only country that does not require that immigrants possess a particular skill.

Denmark provided Jang - who has a master’s degree and is proficient in English - a three-year working visa that can be extended up to eight years. If she works full-time (35-hours a week) for three years, she can apply for permanent residency. Park will enter Denmark as Jang’s spouse.

On the afternoon of Dec. 14, the Institute for Documenting Lesbian Life invited Park and Jang to Ewha Womans University in Seoul to give a lecture on the theme of “Lesbian Pregnancy: How Is it Done?” About 30 women in their 20s and 30s attended the event, which was the first public event hosted by the organization since it launched in March.

During the lecture, the couple drew upon their experiences and shared details about the method and cost of artificial insemination.

"There are a lot of lesbians who are interested in having children, but there is virtually no discussion or information in Korean society. We prepared this event to share a little more information with them,” said Park-Kim Su-jin, one of the main activists at the institute.

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