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Mothers write letters to their children during a session of “Strong Heart Parenting Education” at the World Vision Welfare Center in Incheon

Ms. Park, a 43-year-old mother of three, heard her oldest son say something recently that broke her heart. The memory had faded, but she found herself thinking of a time a few years before when she had caned the boy.

“We were so poor back then, and I was having a tough time. I’m sorry,” she said in reply.

It wasn‘t that long ago that Park was the kind of mother who took a cane to her children. Her child-rearing style has changed significantly since she took a parenting class at a nearby welfare center. Whenever she found herself saying abusive things while disciplining the children, she would write them down and post them on the wall.

“In the past, I would start with the cursing and smacking. It’s not like that anymore,” Park said.

“I heard from the school what a difference there’s been in my child,” she smiled.

In the wake of several high-profile child abuse cases since last year, more and more parents are getting parenting education. An increasing number are asking themselves whether they really are good parents - and how they should behave with their children.

Last year, the Ministry of Health and Welfare released a report on the nationwide child abuse situation for 2014. At 33.5%, the most widely cited characteristic among abusers in cases of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and neglect alike was “parenting attitude and lack of appropriate methods.” Determining that education on parenting attitudes could be a way of reducing child abuse, the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family declared the week of Family Day (May 15) to be “Parenting Education Week.”

On Apr. 26, seven mothers gathered at the World Vision Welfare Center in Incheon’s Seonhak neighborhood to learn more about how to improve their own parenting methods. The year before, they had gone to the same place for a “Strong Heart Parenting Education” program, where they learned about how to change as parents: deciding the right way to look to children, managing sources of stress, and building a support network for parenting roles. After the program, they continued meeting and spending time together writing letters to their children.

“Since taking the parenting education course, I’ve been saying ’I‘m sorry’ and ‘Thank you’ a lot to my children,” said Ms. Kim, a 43-year-old mother of five and one of the attendees that day.

Kim first came to the course out of a desire to raise her children right, even amid the struggles of bringing up five boys and girls on a monthly income of 1.7 million won (US$1,490) in self-support benefits.

“Parenting education doesn‘t solve the problem of economic stress, but it does let you know how to manage things so that the children don’t suffer from the stress,” she said.

Mothers who attended the class said they could sense their relationship with their children improving over time.

“My daughter doesn‘t talk much, and up until last year we barely had any conversations,” said Ms. Lee, the 57-year-old single mother of a high school student.

“One of the things we did in parenting education class was an activity about ’finding your child‘s strong points,’ and I couldn‘t think of any for my daughter,” she admitted. “I just thought there was nothing about her worth praising. All I did was criticize her and compare her to other children.”

These days, Lee talks with her daughter much more.

“My child did have a great strength in her sense of responsibility and the way she carries things through to the end,” she said.

While most current parenting education courses are geared to mothers, more and more are focusing on fathers too. The Mapo Lifelong Learning Center in Seoul’s Mapo district offers a course called “Fathers Concerned about Their Children’s Future,” which provides weekly instruction on parenting practices for men.

Specialized counselors are also visiting schools to offer counseling for parents. The local office of education for Seoul’s Gangseo district organized a program titled “Whole Parents,” in which counselors visit schools to offer group counseling to parents.

“It’s when parents are first able to look at themselves that real communication with children happens and the children can be happy,” said Shin Na-min, a professor of education at Dongguk University.

“Communicating with children is the most important part of parenting education.”

By Kim Mee-hyang, staff reporter

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