hankyoreh

By Sidney S. Sohn, lawyer with California firm

It’s heartbreaking. But the views of the media make me even sadder. In the United States, no one other than the media is talking about the nationality of the perpetrator. Most Americans do not think Koreans and the Korean government need to bear responsibility for what happened. A small, ignorant minority may have said things that are insulting, but I do not think Koreans need to feel any shame. This was committed for individual reasons and was not instigated by Koreans. The reason we should be heartbroken is not because we feel shame or sorry about the fact he was Korean, but because of the social isolation and loss of a sense of self that led him to decide to do such a thing.

I emigrated to the U.S. at the age of 16. I attended high school and university here, and now at 33 I am a lawyer. The media considers Cho someone who enjoyed a life of isolation, someone born with psychological problems, and it describes him as a loner. This view hurts me even more, because I had a similar experience growing up. Among my childhood acquaintances, as well, there were many Koreans who immigrated at an early age and suffered, wandering a solitary path due to a deficiency in a sense of self and belonging. It was not because Americans gave me a hard time or because of discrimination, but because of agony over the feeling that I was neither Korean nor American. The Korean media mentions the fact that Cho did not participate in Korean clubs, and have treated him as an abnormal person who enjoyed being alone. The reality, however, is different. Most Korean organizations on U.S. campuses are led by foreign students from Korea or students who are second-generation immigrants, so it is easy for "1.5 generation" students to feel awkward in these clubs and not be paid attention to. They feel alienated and alone, and thus become obsessed with people who take an interest in them and feel a sense of loss and rage at the world when that obsession leads to feelings of betrayal.

The parents in most families that immigrated early on to the U.S. work so hard to make a living they have no opportunity to share time with their children and talk about identity. Many times it is hard to even find a way to talk. Most children end up only using English as they grow up, and that makes communication with their parents even harder. Children who grow up in such an environment don’t enjoy being alone; they end up alone due to being unable to fit in elsewhere because of their awkwardness. Clearly what Cho did was horrific and must never happen again. However, instead of pointing a finger at him and feeling shame, we should feel sorry and reflect on how we failed to instill in him a sense of identity, self, and belonging.

Koreans are a people with pride, independence, and a sense of ethnic identity. However, our society tends to obsess over "success" and the end goals of things, and think only those who have achieved such things are one of our own. Some Koreans that live in America talk about whether or not we are the "mainstream." However, we need to think of ourselves as mainstream wherever we live - as always a part of society - and instill this in our descendants. Koreans living in the U.S. need to realize that they are American, they are the mainstream and are not just "living away from home." What Cho has done is not something we as Koreans need to apologize to Americans and the American government for. Rather, we need to see what happened as an urgent reminder of the need to address the Korean immigrants of the future, who need to be instilled with a sense of self, belonging, and identity.

This is a translation of a Korean language article contributited to the Hankyoreh

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